chuck norris, for the following reasons:
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
k Norris was once put on the wrapper for a toilet paper company. The company field tested it but it didn't work because Chuck Norris doesn't take crap from nobody.
If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down
The Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris every night.
A blind man bumped into Chuck Norris. The simple act of touching him cured the man's blindness. Unfortunately, the first and last thing the man saw was a fatal roundhouse kick to the face by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*ck down.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
The original name of the movie was Alien vs Predator vs Chuck Norris, but the producers realized that nobody would ever watch a movie that only lasted fourteen seconds.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris
After taking a steroids test, doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
What’s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn’t use its full name, which happens to be “Ultimate Fighting